I was recently invited to a baby shower. I don’t believe in baby showers and
my friends knew better than to throw one for me when my daughters were born
in the early 1970s. But for this event, even though I couldn’t attend, I
went shopping for a gift because I believe in the couple who were having the
baby. And I had a lot of fun choosing those cute wee organic cotton, hemp
and bamboo things to celebrate the soon-to-be brand new human being.
However, I continue to think there must be a better – more eco-conscious,
less paraphernalia-oriented way to welcome the little one than an orgy of
plastic stuff in throwaway gift wrap and ribbons. So I surveyed people I
know – much younger ones, mostly – to see if they had any ideas. They did!
In once instance, friends of the parents-to-be
organized a pre-birth party to which invitees were asked to forgo
traditional gifts and, instead, feed the new family. Each guest could either
sign up to deliver a home-cooked meal in the days following the child’s
birth. or bring freezer-ready food to the shower. Oh, and the shower was
pot-luck, of course.
At another shower, gifts were restricted to
hand-me-downs rather than new items. The parents were overwhelmed with toys,
clothes, a crib, a car seat, children’s books, a stroller and more. The cost
to attendees was limited, the packaging was virtually non-existent, and
everybody felt good about stuff being reused.
One young woman described a shower organized around the
theme of coupon gifts – coupons promising babysitting, homemade meals, a
post-birth massage, and so on. Another shower featured guests bringing
hand-made books filled with parenting tips and personal stories and,
similarly, at another shower the guests brought a copy of their favorite
childhood book. Yet another host gathered contributions toward the cost of
the car seat of the parents’ choice.
The green theme was woven through most of the
alternative events I heard about. When there were decorations, they were
reusable (think candles or a cloth table covering signed by all the
attendees) or alive (think plants), rather than crepe paper streamers and
paper plates. When there were new gifts, they were respectfully restricted
to organic clothing and wooden toys (think gift registries at organic baby
stores and cloth diaper services). In most cases, a list of welcome and
unwelcome gifts was included with the invitations, just to help the
uninitiated. There were also suggestions to wrap gifts in cloth diapers or
baby towels and blankets. (Of course, politely request rather than restrict
and accept that there will be some chemical-laden plastic toys in the
midst.)
Speaking of invitations, email and phone were the
favored mode of delivery. Otherwise, you could print the invitations
yourself on recycled paper. One shower organizer included a list of
invitees’ phone numbers and email addresses, encouraging them to carpool to
the shower.
These green events were simpler and homier than the
showers I’ve tried not to attend over the years. They were more about good
food, conversation and sharing experiences with the parents-to-be, and less
about balloons, silly games, surprises and unwanted gifts. Some even left
out the gift part altogether. And some were held post-birth, so the guests
could meet the new family addition. In one case, the guests held a ceremony
to bury the placenta that had been waiting in the freezer; in another, a
tree was planted in honor of the new arrival.
Whatever your alternative baby shower looks like,
please be sure it doesn’t just replace gift sets of plastic bottles with
fair trade bamboo rattles. While that’s certainly a start, you really can’t
buy your way to greenness. Keep in mind that a baby shower is a celebration
of life and you and your guests will naturally make it as green and healthy
as possible – with or without showering the new mother with gifts.
Wendy Priesnitz is the editor of Natural
Child Online Magazine. She is also the mother of two thirty-something
daughters, the editor of Natural Life magazine, the author of nine books,
and a blogger.
